Familial Power and Roles

The idea of family goes beyond just faces of the people who raised you, the concept is molded by social expectations with certain members of the family playing specific roles. Individuals that do not fit these roles are often socially stigmatized such as female-led households and children that do not take to gender roles. For example it’s frequently claimed that gay couples have short, unstable relationships and cannot raise children without attempting to ‘convert’ them to homosexuality. These claims are simply not true and these circumstances depend on individual experiences, a child raised by two fathers may chose to be like their parents or they might just turn out to not be gay at all. Gay parents may have little if any desire to try and ‘convince’ their children to become gay. Heterosexual parents however are very quick to start enforcing gender expectations of children, buying gendered items and clothing for a newborn.

The structure of families often depends on a hierarchal scale of power of which the elders are at the top and being seen as wise leaders and mentors, this kind of hierarchy gives privilege to older males as female members of the family are expected to work around the house. Marriage is also strongly influenced by a gender based power dynamic. Nowadays with more acceptance of non-binary genders and sexualities the structure of relationships and marriages can become more equal and stable for each individual. Me and my partner are working on not letting how we were socialized as kids negatively effect how we are today now that we live together.